should’ve posted this yesterday

Starting my new way of getting you up to speed on my life.
I’m currently using MacJournal 4.2.1 to upload my stories to you. I am so enthusiastic to send this over as I have not talked to you for so long. I went to visit a battle of the bands over this weekend with my boss-friend.

Pre-concert
My friend Jao, and Raffy had a nice dinner at chili’s. It was when I learned that raffy is leaving the company…which i hope won’t come true. Raffy had been an instrumental character in my life. He is my elder brother which I never had…he is big and strong physically, but warm and caring deep inside. He is a loving leader. It will be such a waste to see him go.

Concert Proper
The name of the battle of the bands is ACETONE. It is an event led by our English department – ACE(Accent and Conversational English)..There were 7 bands who fought…I just felt a tremendous amount of itch to join them and just play..and rock..it was awesome had i been there…but then again, I am not…It’s pretty hard to be a manageer…there are so many things that you are, but so much more that you cannot be. Anyhow, not to worry. I had my fair share of rollin!

Post Concert
Jao, Raffy, and I went to Bobi’s afterwards and drank a pitcher of Zombie and 2 plates of sisig!!! It was a wonderful discussion…endless talks of life, and love, and knowing ones self…endless chatter between good friends…I always cherish those moments.

Till tomorrow..if i still have license to use MacJournal..

vision

today i walk barefooted
caloused by the salt from my eyes
my hand soiled by time
nothing to offer but my heart, intentions, and passion.
I will only fight this battle,
with one goal in mind.
I enter this fight prepared
with one sole aim.
Victory.
Willing to embrace new wounds
Happy to carry on more burden
but in so doing
my strength is assured
to proudly raise my head to the sun
as i take on my medal.
I am barefooted now
but ill walk in clear waters
ill run in rose petals
and relish this journey
victorious
and happy.

insects do not have blood

hi,

i just got home from a very special dinner and booze with my co-managers and my own Senior manager friend. i just learned today that INSECTS DO NOT HAVE BLOOD!!! It is such a revelation to me and I realized how can God actually missed on giving blood to the insects? How can He forget that they, too, are living important creatures on earth! Regardless if you are a cockroach, mosquito, whatsoever! I felt an overwhelming pitty, i just couldn’t understand it?

My friends were laughing at me. But I still could not accept the fact the rationale why insects does not have insects! They, too should experience the warmth of life.

It is unacceptable, sad truth that I could not accept.

self awareness

sweet
kind
thoughtful
spicy
fat
boastful
irritating
caring
charming
understandable
beauty
snob
schizo
passionate
crewative
thatrical
soft
baby
leader
follower
team mate

me.

guilt

i bought my new notebook yesterday…so excited to go home from work..at exactly 4pm i went home..plugged my notebook to the laptop…and surfed and worked till 10pm…it was a struggle to continue doing this..since my son was simultaneously..shaking my head..combing my hair…giving me a baby back massage..shouting at my ear..until 9pm..when he got tired…and slept…

i realized..geez, i so miss my baby…

back now

hi there,
its been quite sometime again since we last met. i just got my notebook so we can talk more often. i promise you i will stay. i promise you i will let you be heard. no hesitation. no barriers. just you and me, soul to soul.
i am so happy now. thank you for staying with me. i am happy i am given the chance to be better. each day.

yesterday i got the chnace to have a nice chat with my boss, nathalie. she’s our director at only 35 years old! anyhow, we talked about several things but amongst our varied discussion, one thing struck me – dare to dream. cliche as it seems, i saw these words through her eyes. she meant, dare to dream..for you can be so much better..for you can be more of who you are..and you can only go as your dreams will reach you…it was very inspiring…this person whom i have never understood in the past can never be clearer now…for you to be the best at what you are doing, you should be able to dream it, see it in your eyes. when that time comes, you are made.

i want you to remind me that. it is so easy to forget. especially when things get messy and all you care about are deadlines. so easy to forget yourself, your sanity. suddenly, you are caught up with the vicious cycle of pleasing other people for pleasing them. so busy trying to prove to other people who you are not.

im so glad im back now. so you can always remind me where my home is.