Yearning

So tired of being sad
So tired of battling alone
So tired of weeping
And crying desperately

My friends have grown weary
No one to cling to no more
Yes its an unwinded misery
Just me, cliche, i alone

I thirst for pretense laugh
I shouted and scream for praises and prayer
And yet in the end i resort to this dark
Corner
Yes i battle on my own

Do you hear the birds chirping
The scent of morning dew
The sing of every rainbow
Yes i see, but then these i drew

No, i am not happy
Ive been unhappy for a very long time
When all i yearn is to love
Ironic it is, to you im a mime

Release this bondage on my foot
Let me run freely to the forrest
And though i know only me and the moon
In this dark i can lay and rest

Aha
At last
I spew blood on your paper
A good start in claiming healing
Aha
At last
A few hours later
I wake in this jail, yearning.

Friday, alone, and raining

I hope you could remind me
How wine tastes like.
The poetry it tells
Wich dances you to lullabye.

I hope you could whisper
The sweetness of your embrace.
And everytime you open your eyes
You only see my face.

I hope you could stop
The buzz of the rain in my head
The ever gloom in my heart
Put some warmth on this bed.

But then you smiled and gazed at my face
While placing a lay on my grave
Hearts gently wrapped in a lace
Where no one can save.

Wakas

Patula tula pa
Tangang tumutulala
Nabuhusan ng malamig ng tubig
Ikaw ang sambulat ng bibig

Lasing bang sinapot ang kukote
Pagibig sa kamote
Habang syay isang kabute
Ngayoy parang may malaking tutule

Sampung taong sikliko
Akoy hilung hilo
Di kailangan ng talino
Tama na pagiging bobo

Hahaha wika mo
Di makukuha ng pakaawa mo
Pusoy bubuhusan ng asido
Kalimutan na ang kagaguhang to

Wag ng subukang kumatok
Ako na ang sariling babatok
Bulkan may pumutok
Manok may tumilaok

Patula tula pa
Walang pero subalit aniya
Sa lamay tayoy magkita
Tama na tama na

Itutuloy….

Bagay bagay

Isang lapis, gamit.

Isang papel, gamit.

Isang luha, lait.

Pagibig, mapait.

Ikaw, bakit.

Dahil ako, gamit.

Bulag

Pinikit ang mga mata
Mayat mayay binukas na
Ramdam ang haplos
Magaspang may mainit pa
Bawat kaluskos moy kinakabisa
Langhap moy ramdam ko sa bawat hininga

Bakit lumalayo?
Huwag muna.
Akoy kukumpas
Subalit huli na.

Ang ihip ng hangiy
Nagbabadya na tanghali na
Kinakapa ang tungkod
Muling lilimos pa.
Bulag may di manhid
Mga matay
Lumuluha pa.

Play pause rewind

Sumisinghap singhap
Sa alikabok nakabaon
Mulit muliy nabubuhay
alaala ng kahapon

Mga matay di matitinag
Di nagsisinungaling
Bagamat magkaiba ng dahilan
Pabalik balik bumabaling

Sa dapit hapon
Dibdib koy kumakabog
Ang araw ay muling lilipas
Habol, pusong sumasabog

Naway di mo matitimo
Hangad lamang ay sulyap
Na sa sandaling ako at ikaw ay tayo
Muling mabuhay sa pagsinghap

Salamat sayo
Luhang iipunin sa garapon
Panaghoy at muling pagtibok
Ngayoy muling babalik sa kahapon

let me weep

And though with a smile,
my eyes gazing towards yours,
it is with such deep sadness
to smell, feel, and touch
how broken we both have fallen apart.
And as I write this,
much like tons of the unwanted words of emotions addressed to you,
I am trembling,
with tears all dried up.

I have prayed,
and have been praying.
I have sought warmth from friends and loved ones.
I have sung hopeless romantic songs.
And I danced alone.
Seeing you,
watching me,
with so much disappointment in your eyes.
I am overwhelmed with this unparalleled pain.

I gasp
and utter a sigh
to remind me I’m still alive.
I pray
to be awaken from this horrible nightmare.
But then again,
the baby cries,
my son snorts,
its real.

And seeing you smirk,
and hold her hand,
still looking at my direction,
whispering to me she is a ghost.
I wish,
that indeed life could be paintings that can be subject for interpretation.
But yet your heart has her name etched on it.
Spitting on my cheek,
you yearn every inch of her.

Dizzy, torment, and in a spiral road of pretense.
Convincing myself that there is something in this world worthwhile to keep going.
And then my princess,
and my prince
both flapping my broken wings
so we can fly.

Let sun shine on my face.
Let hope embrace my heart.
That in this fleeting
and intermittent moments of sanity,
I’m able to get by.

Until then, let me weep.

day2

day 2
today is a lot harder. everyday as it passes by.
i miss you so much. the way you make me laugh and all the memories we built together in the past 11 years.
i wish it could stop.
i wish that we could turn back time and that nothing had happened.
i have never experienced so much pain.
i keep myself drowned with work, but the agony easily creeps in in every moment that i have a chance to breathe.
please let this be over soon.

last few pages

i could no longer move a muscle

my heart is numb with pain

i pray to rest in His wings

and get him out of my brain.

this old wine is spoiled

and the turkey on the table is rotten

i guess you will never be home

for our love is forgotten.

let me sleep tonight

and remember in my dreams

that there is a spirit in this heart

not an empty soul as it seems.

let me search for my own laughter

for these stained walls have grown tired

neither a house or a home

all sadness wired.

i surrender all these to You

for i can not carry on

i know that with a faith of a mustard seed

i will be able to move on.

 

I love Invitations

I love Invitations

iloveinvitations.sulit.com.ph – Tuesday, May 4, 2010

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